Cartography: ...so im home, slammin on my crunch

i am nervous. and will likely never use correct punctuation or capitalization; get with it. also i'm writing all these posts on a laptop laying in my bed, so have deep, penetrative, violating anal sex with that! squares. pfft. i need not your plebian conventions. i just need a feed bag and diaper; maybe a powder or 2 now and again. kind word would be nice... some reassurance. dont know really. what i do know is that i need maps. always. . . all kinds. i need a map to get to the bleedin map aisle of the map store in a map depot at the end of the map seminar at the map-maker's convention (played at by the map hatters). So take it from me, . . no i mean litterally take it from me, i dont use em. Just because you need a thing, doesnt mean you have to have it. its called zen bitches. my esteemed colleague referred to it in a previous blog which i wont refer you to because i cant.

i just make decisions on the basis of whether or not i feel like it. is there a gutteral intonation towards or to wit im disinclined to follow? For you see babies, ive already told you ive no sense of direction, so a step in the direction of my choosing, is a move in the wrong direction. I have never in my life been at a crossroads and made the correct choice. Im talking like 100%. never. niente. nunca. ice cream. foxtrot.

What does this mean? Only time will tell. and in my experience she's a mum dried up wrinkly old bitch. cool party. Now.. i think the art of cartography and surveyorship are fine dignified and truly noble pursuits. but the truth seems to me that the more we understand of ourselves in relation to our environment and one another, the more we feel the need to assimilate and divide. to me, all things are foreign, all persons are foreigners, im a stranger to everyone, and i've no idea where the fuck i am. so i depend on the kindness of strangers, and not in a freeloading, backroom driving, polock-bashing, delusional southern cunt sort of way. its more of an unimposing, apologetic, glad to lend a hand with your bags out to the car if you'll politely tell me how to get home from this porn shoppe i frequent. because you see, i dont just get lost once. no no no. I get lost from the same places , to the same destinations all sorts of ways. and i may well need these directions again.

So thats it really. My take on things to start out. remember, be nice to the strangers you meet on unfamiliar roads, so long as you carry your ego in your hat and a puzzled look they may well get you home more than once. but not if you're sasquatch. if you're sasquatch the rules are different.

- mrlastyearstown